Thursday, September 11, 2008

Wanted A Suitable Boy for a 27-Year Old Woman!!! Part-2

A few months ago I wrote about my meeting with a suitable bania boy to discuss a marital alliance. I had reservations…which have since long been dispelled. Marriage to me meant a coming together of shared dreams and hopes; it was a result of deep-rooted affection for each other and the fulfillment of the promise made to each other. Like hell!!! It meant that to me…I had grown up on a staple diet of mills and boon novels. I realized belatedly, much to my horror and my parents’ delight that I had just memorized these things and had begun believing in them.

So, as I said, I now stand corrected. I now understand that marriage is well marriage. You can’t define it. Anyway, for me the famed “Enlightenment” took place on January 20, 2008.

I was introduced to Mr. Boy From a Decent Bania Family Who is Well-Educated Earns a Package of 17 Lacs and Has a House of His Own. That’s just the “poor” guy’s first name. If I get down to the last name, I will have to continue the post in my next blog!!!

Anyway, I went to the parlour and beautified myself…put on a nice formal suit and sat prettily in my parents’ bedroom. It was freezing and I wasn’t even wearing a shawl…Why, I think I would have looked like a hag with one. My parents had bought snacks worth thousands to welcome our guests. My entire clan was dressed in their best clothes. The servants of the house seemed to be on a high…for god knows what reason. Anyway, some time must have passed, when yours truly was sent for.

I entered and spotted three men-1) an elderly man with a benevolent smile who sat next to my uncle (Did I mention there were close to 20 of my relatives in the drawing room in addition to the eight guests we had? Our rather spacious living room had not looked more cramped ever!) 2) A bespectacled man who was dressed casually and smartly; and 3) A short bespectacled guy who was dressed as if he had come to a wedding with his head bent down looking anywhere but at me (I silently prayed that this would not be the Mr. Boy From a Decent etcetera etcetera.)

Alas! If wishes were horses! Well, the guy had definitely dressed to kill. I apologize for the snide comments but I have not been able to get over the gold watch and embroidered suit yet. I said hi and the guy responded by nodding his head. I sat between Mr so and so’s mother who seemed like a nice lady and his very attractive and pleasant sister-in-law. My could-be MIL went straight for the kill and asked me if I knew how to cook. I answered in the affirmative.(I can cook anything under the sun except for chapattis after referring a recipe book.) I then turned to chat up the young attractive woman who was an engaging conversationalist. All this while, Mr so and so just sat there with an invisible finger on his lips.

Meeting A (Suitable) Boy!!!

One of my aunts suggested that Mr and I should go to the other room and get to know each other. The guy rose with almost a prayer on his lips! Please refer the picture to the right. We were as comfortable as this. The guy who was a manager in a top MNC was shivering while talking to me. I was scared that any moment he would cry RAPE!!! Probably, his mother was scared for her son’s safety as well. She did not waste a moment to join us in the room.

Anyway, it was as if I was interviewing the guy. He would only open his mouth to answer my questions. I asked him to describe himself as a person. He said “well, you are looking at me aren’t you. You can judge for yourself.” Now, maybe it’s just me. But, I do find it a little difficult to do a character assessment by simply looking at somebody. Anyway, I asked him what his expectations were from his partner. The prompt reply was “There are many.” I waited for him to elaborate. He did not say so in so many words. But the gist was he wanted somebody was traditional yet modern, broad-minded yet happy to be home, and should necessarily be homely and attractive (I think he did not realize that these were antonyms…actually, his English was a little, actually a lot weak…but, that is hardly, oh all right, not that big a problem!) I asked him if I would be allowed to wear western wear after our marriage and I thought the guy just suffered a mini heart attack. He sounded absolutely scandalized when he said well, maybe you can wear suits…but western wear…

His mom shared all her son’s fears, it seems. She asked me and my mother at least 5 times, if I would wear saris after marriage. In fact, since my parents were absolutely smitten with the Mr and his family, I told my parents I was ready to marry Mr Wonderful.

My father called our well-educated CA boy’s father. He had the same apprehensions as his wife and son. They thought I was too “modern”! They asked my father to make it very clear to me that I would have to give up my job and that I would have to guess what…wear saris…after my marriage.

Apparently, my parents still saw no reason as to why I had suddenly become so adamant about saying I did not share the same feelings for the guy as them.However, they continue to fall deeper and deeper in love with Mr Extraordinary.

Why did I say no? Would I have said yes if the guy was more smartly dressed? Would a better person than me completely ignore the gold watch and the lack of sophistication? Heck, I am myself as clumsy as they come…what the hell do I know about sophistication?…and clothes…do they really maketh a man…I have realized that I am quite vain and immature. So, bring on the next suitable guy…and I’ll just…well…I’ll just put an end to my stupidity.