Sequence of Events that Precede the Trip

 

They say “Jiska bulawa aata ahi wahi Vaishno Devi jata hai!” Well, how do I say this but apparently Mata consented to send the much awaited bulawa very very reluctantly. But persistence pays!

 

A trip that was initially planned to have taken place in December 2008 finally took place on February 19, 2009, not without lots of drama though…

 

There were going to be four pious devotees who were supposed to have taken the pilgrimage—Rajiv, Preeti, Asha, and yours truly. However, in the end, Mr Rajiv chickened out of this moment that would well have been the highlight of his single life; the man was going to accompany three single and at the risk of sounding immodest very attractive young ladies…alone! Alas, it was not meant to be.

 

Kahani poori filmi hai. The plot unfolds below…

 

Rajiv told his parents rather proudly that he was going to be a knight in shining armor to not one, not two, but three ladies. I don’t think his parents reacted to the news as enthusiastically as he had imagined. For effect, let me add this was the proverbial ‘silence before the storm’…or in this case ‘the tornado.’

 

Preeti told her very anxious parents that a strong, dependable, man was “chaperoning” the three damsels to save them from any potential distress ;) Her parents gave permission rather unwillingly.

 

I sort of remembered to forget to mention that somebody called Rajiv was also accompanying us to the trip when my slightly conservative, a tad over protective, and a little over imaginative father enquired about my companions. My ever hopeful father agreed to let us take the pilgrimage in the hope that it may bring about the desired result of finding a suitable son-in-law for his only daughter!

 

This is where the famed Divine Intervention occurs!

 

One day before the departure of the train, Rajiv’s parents expressed their indignation at the thought of their son accompanying three women. All hell broke loose…and the poor guy decided that he could not go…L

 

Preeti, my cousin gave her parents this piece of news exactly two hours before the train to Jammu was scheduled to leave. Her parents could not bring themselves to agree to send their little girl (quite literally) to go out alone in the concrete jungle called Jammu without you guessed it-a strong guy who’d fight the big bad wolves for the delicate ladies.

 

Preeti’s mom came and expressed her fear of letting the girls go unescorted in front of my parents. My father had no clue what she was talking about when she said that the three girls will be going alone. He said but that had been the case all along…and then my aunt dropped the bomb…she told my father that the guy who was supposed to accompany us would not be coming along. And because it was really unsafe for us without him, Preeti would also not go. One look at my father and I was sure that the explosion would occur any moment. What would be the punishment for a tiny slip like that after all? I was racking my brains silently for any plausible story that I could tell…

 

In the end, I came up with a story that puts me to shame…quite literally…I’ve always believed that I am a great story teller…and my creativity just betrayed me at that moment. I told my father, that guy was never going to come. He told us he may come. And my father bought it…I mean what was happening here. J

 

But unfortunately, with my cousin backing out, my father was positive that his delicate darling daughter could not manage with just another tiny tot for company…well you can’t blame him…I mean he doesn’t know what a dynamite that little package is!

 

Everything had blown apart. Asha had left for the railway station by then. I dreaded calling her to tell her that the trip was off. Have you met her? Hell hath no fury like Asha scorned! Well, I mustered the courage and finally called her. As expected, she declared she was going to go ahead by herself. What was I thinking….I told my father that…Surprise surprise he was still listening to me. J My father still clung to the hope of his son-in-law and was worried that Asha may carry out her threat. He told my uncle (Preeti’s father) that he was going to drop me at the station after all.

 

Preeti lay in a pool of tears because her parents refused to give her permission to go. Preeti threw a temper tantrum infront of her parents to show them how wronged she felt by pulling out all her clothes from the travel bag.

 

Amidst all this drama, the clock showed that it was 45 minutes before the train to Jammu left. It takes about 35 minutes to reach the railway station from my place. Upon seeing us leave and tired of Preeti’s tragedy queen act, my uncle told my father that even Preeti could go.

 

As soon as she heard that, she spent only a few more moments to sob one final time for effect…and then went about pushing everything into her travel bag. 35 minutes left for the train to leave…We made a dash…My father made it to the railway station in record time (The tana maroing he subjected Preeti and me to seemed to help him drive faster.)

 

At 9:35 the train finally left for jammu. Oh by the way, my father double actually triple- checked that there was no guy like creature in our vicinity! Also, he stayed at the station till the train left, just to be sure you see!  

 

 

The Trip that Almost Didn’t Happen….

For your convenience and mine…let me divide this post into two parts (Professional hazard of over three years of organizing content into logical chunks!) The first part is the Sequence of Events that Precede the Trip and the second part is well, The Trip itself. I thought I’d add another part devoted to Ms Malik, my companion…but I am sure that after reading this post, you will realize that madam definitely merits a whole post to herself!  J

Wanted A Suitable Boy for a 27-Year Old Woman!!! Part-2

A few months ago I wrote about my meeting with a suitable bania boy to discuss a marital alliance. I had reservations…which have since long been dispelled. Marriage to me meant a coming together of shared dreams and hopes; it was a result of deep-rooted affection for each other and the fulfillment of the promise made to each other. Like hell!!! It meant that to me…I had grown up on a staple diet of mills and boon novels. I realized belatedly, much to my horror and my parents’ delight that I had just memorized these things and had begun believing in them.

So, as I said, I now stand corrected. I now understand that marriage is well marriage. You can’t define it. Anyway, for me the famed “Enlightenment” took place on January 20, 2008.

I was introduced to Mr. Boy From a Decent Bania Family Who is Well-Educated Earns a Package of 17 Lacs and Has a House of His Own. That’s just the “poor” guy’s first name. If I get down to the last name, I will have to continue the post in my next blog!!!

Anyway, I went to the parlour and beautified myself…put on a nice formal suit and sat prettily in my parents’ bedroom. It was freezing and I wasn’t even wearing a shawl…Why, I think I would have looked like a hag with one. My parents had bought snacks worth thousands to welcome our guests. My entire clan was dressed in their best clothes. The servants of the house seemed to be on a high…for god knows what reason. Anyway, some time must have passed, when yours truly was sent for.

I entered and spotted three men-1) an elderly man with a benevolent smile who sat next to my uncle (Did I mention there were close to 20 of my relatives in the drawing room in addition to the eight guests we had? Our rather spacious living room had not looked more cramped ever!) 2) A bespectacled man who was dressed casually and smartly; and 3) A short bespectacled guy who was dressed as if he had come to a wedding with his head bent down looking anywhere but at me (I silently prayed that this would not be the Mr. Boy From a Decent etcetera etcetera.)

Alas! If wishes were horses! Well, the guy had definitely dressed to kill. I apologize for the snide comments but I have not been able to get over the gold watch and embroidered suit yet. I said hi and the guy responded by nodding his head. I sat between Mr so and so’s mother who seemed like a nice lady and his very attractive and pleasant sister-in-law. My could-be MIL went straight for the kill and asked me if I knew how to cook. I answered in the affirmative.(I can cook anything under the sun except for chapattis after referring a recipe book.) I then turned to chat up the young attractive woman who was an engaging conversationalist. All this while, Mr so and so just sat there with an invisible finger on his lips.

Meeting A (Suitable) Boy!!!

One of my aunts suggested that Mr and I should go to the other room and get to know each other. The guy rose with almost a prayer on his lips! Please refer the picture to the right. We were as comfortable as this. The guy who was a manager in a top MNC was shivering while talking to me. I was scared that any moment he would cry RAPE!!! Probably, his mother was scared for her son’s safety as well. She did not waste a moment to join us in the room.

Anyway, it was as if I was interviewing the guy. He would only open his mouth to answer my questions. I asked him to describe himself as a person. He said “well, you are looking at me aren’t you. You can judge for yourself.” Now, maybe it’s just me. But, I do find it a little difficult to do a character assessment by simply looking at somebody. Anyway, I asked him what his expectations were from his partner. The prompt reply was “There are many.” I waited for him to elaborate. He did not say so in so many words. But the gist was he wanted somebody was traditional yet modern, broad-minded yet happy to be home, and should necessarily be homely and attractive (I think he did not realize that these were antonyms…actually, his English was a little, actually a lot weak…but, that is hardly, oh all right, not that big a problem!) I asked him if I would be allowed to wear western wear after our marriage and I thought the guy just suffered a mini heart attack. He sounded absolutely scandalized when he said well, maybe you can wear suits…but western wear…

His mom shared all her son’s fears, it seems. She asked me and my mother at least 5 times, if I would wear saris after marriage. In fact, since my parents were absolutely smitten with the Mr and his family, I told my parents I was ready to marry Mr Wonderful.

My father called our well-educated CA boy’s father. He had the same apprehensions as his wife and son. They thought I was too “modern”! They asked my father to make it very clear to me that I would have to give up my job and that I would have to guess what…wear saris…after my marriage.

Apparently, my parents still saw no reason as to why I had suddenly become so adamant about saying I did not share the same feelings for the guy as them.However, they continue to fall deeper and deeper in love with Mr Extraordinary.

Why did I say no? Would I have said yes if the guy was more smartly dressed? Would a better person than me completely ignore the gold watch and the lack of sophistication? Heck, I am myself as clumsy as they come…what the hell do I know about sophistication?…and clothes…do they really maketh a man…I have realized that I am quite vain and immature. So, bring on the next suitable guy…and I’ll just…well…I’ll just put an end to my stupidity.

The Snapshots

In the past three years, all of us have gone on to create a new set of memories with a new set of friends. Some of us have continued to be friends with each other, while some have lost touch. I don’t want to hold on to my friends, but I will hold on to the memories. I won’t let go. I don’t want to live in the past, but I do want to cherish certain warm moments.

For those of us, who have not been able to nurture our relationship, I am positive our paths will cross. I want to take this opportunity to apologize for anything I might have done or said to upset you. I hope that when we meet, we can each bring an affectionate smile for the other on our faces.

I recently read somewhere that all of us experience certain moments in our lives that remain frozen in our memory forever. I just realized how true that is.

Aks: 1) You and I went to buy Rash’s birthday gift to GK. The cab ride to Kalkaji, the auto ride to GK, the burger at Mac Donald’s, and then getting totally soaked in the rain. Waiting at length for an auto to agree to let us board. When we reached office, people stared coz there was absolutely no rain in Okhla!!! You and I were the only ones who were soaking wet. :D

2) Minerva balcony, it was late evening. There was very little light in the balcony. You and I just sat dreaming with open eyes about all four of us staying together. I just kept my head on your shoulders. And we yakked and yakked and yakked. Aks, thanks for my KODAK moment, also one of my “breathless” moments, Ash knows about it. I’ll tell you guys about it some time. Sweetheart, I am really proud of you for having realized your dream.

Ash: Each of the times you have called me “paaji” and I have called you “baby” and “Ashu.” Love you baby. The first time I baked a cake for Rash’s birthday, you just came and hugged me and said “it was so tasty paaji. Mere liye cake kab banaoge?” i haven’t baked a cake for you exclusively yet. but I will.

Ayush: 1) kyabolu tujhe. Tu ekdam pagal hai. At seed, you kept on poking fun at yourself. I asked you one night why you were so critical of yourself and you confided in me about everything. It felt great that you could trust me. I remember every word that you spoke bhai. Thanks for saying that I am your sister.

Neha: Chauki dhaani. That one day you taught me to let go of my inhibitions and just be myself. Every moment spent dancing in the rain with the folk dancers, in that keechad, taking pictures on the machaan is so fresh that I can touch it.

Rash: J love you lots honey. One moment…and I remember what you wore...the white khadi kurta I picked up from GK. On our way back from jaipur, you just looked at me with all the gussa that I can imagine in your eyes, yet all the love that I have ever heard in any one’s voice, you said “aur mere saath to tu baithi bhi nahi.” I just got up and sat beside you. This snapshot makes me feel precious.

Saleem: The one snapshot that has me in splits. Of you taking on Moon…I mean honestly, Ididnot think that anybody could give that woman a taste of her own medicine. Except you Saleem. When I saw you argue with Moon about your point of view, the last day when all of us were selected, I was laughing inside at Moon’s plight. You do stand by your principles and for your self respect. I think it’s truly amazing.

Shikha: 1) hahah…I think I have to mention your birthday debacle here…itne pyar se wo cake laaye the :D

2) my Kodak moment with you shikhs was the Virtual Learning presentation that we made. I was shivering. You just looked at me and said “darne se kya hoga. Kar legi”. And I did it. J Like I always say tu meri unpaid psychiatrist hai. Practice mat chodio…abhi patientkailaaj baaki hai.

Guys I know that this may be an overdose of sentimentality. But it was really important for me to share this with you. Happy anniversary once again my happy tree friends (I think our friendship starts from the big fat tree in SEED).

Happy Third Anniversary Sparks

May 31, 2005, SEED, Sainik Farms, Dekhi

It was around nine in the night. I was nervous as hell...I was going to stay away from my family for 2 months for the first time in my life. I had taken up my first proper job. I believed I had to be the dumbest brunette on the block (I had copper colored highlights)…

I finally entered the complex…I was so nervous my heart was jumping inside my body. I had not eaten my dinner properly and my parents had bought me a pizza. I walked past a few people who were sitting together in the cafeteria. I saw everybody smiling and laughing and my heart sank…I asked myself if I would even be able to bring myself to say hello. Some of these people went on to become my dearest friends.

I found myself sitting alone in a room thinking about what I should be doing. A few minutes later, a pretty girl knocked on my door. She had the surliest expression I have ever seen and I was so scared as it is…Now scary woman aka Shikha is my rock star pal…but then...

A few moments later a little girl with a very very squeaky voice (I think we know who we are talking about :P ) entered the room with two other girls. I had already met one of the girls at NIIT during my interview. She had this air of innate confidence that comes from having “been there –done that”. This was Neha. The other girl looked like someone you could not help being friends with. She had wild hair and looked as lost as I thought only I could be :D This was Rash.

Ash received a phone call on her cell from somebody called Ayush. He was asking her if all of us wanted to go downstairs. Everybody said yes. This was the most fun I had had in my life yet.

I was introduced to 5 guys and a girl who sat with them. All these people sat under a huge tree. People had begun poking fun at each other. I would have felt a little out of place but there was rash with her lost expression and big wide eyes. She sat next to me. And I talked nineteen to the dozen only with her. There were Aks, Ayush, Saleem, Arnab, and the girl was Sunaina. Would you believe it, I thought Sunaina and Arnab were siblings!!!! The smiles, the jokes, everything still rings in my ears…I can relive each moment with closed eyes.

This is where all of us met. This is the beginning of a series of memorable moments that I have experienced with each of you. Next post…My Kodak moments with each of you :D

Wanted A Suitable Boy for a 27-Year Old Woman!!!

Please don’t get me wrong…This is NEITHER a cue for any eligible men to forward their matrimonial profiles (that is what they call bio-datas these days) to me NOR an invitation for anything hanky panky ;) However, I am the 27+ woman in question and this is my account of my parents’ and my search for a suitable bania boy for…you guessed right.

How desperate is that…getting your parents to find a “match” for you…the word match is right…somebody who matches your eligibility criteria and your family’s and the same goes for you and your family.

The eligibility criteria ranges from how much money your dad will spend on the marriage, if your horoscopes match, etc. If you are the shy cum coy cum modern cum traditional cum homely cum talented cum educated from convent schools and colleges cum very fair cum very beautiful girl….you can definitely come into the guy’s family. If you are a guy who earns a monthly package of over a lac and have a house of your own and have a small family and have never been divorced or are not a widower…you can definitely take the woman home…your looks do not matter…or do they? Well, to be honest they do…as I will tell you…

BTW let me clarify…as cynical as I sound in the beginning of this article... I know for sure that this is a tried, tested, and proven method…it works…has worked for ages…for most of my maternal family (the cousins in my paternal family have been what you call slightly forward in this respect…they fought with their parents and opted out of this arrangement to chose their own partners with or without their parents’ APPROVAL) and probably three fourths of the Indian population…I am not sure about the statistics…I think these days most people are as brave as my paternal family…

But anyway…we will talk about the remaining FEW of us who for various reasons log on to shadi.com or matrimony.com or more such websites…who scan bio datas of suitable candidates along with their parents…who overhear telephonic conversations between their parents and the servants of the house…who suggest suitable alliances…have I use the word “suitable” a little to often in this write up? If yes, well the word is suitable for this kind of writing. :D

OOPS…just realized I wrote a lot of hog wash…will end this part here…will move on to a detailed account of my first experience of meeting an eligible bania boy everybody in my family just lovedddddddddd…unfortunately I did not… and I made the fatal error of saying NO!!! Like I said…detailed account in the next post.