Learning more about myself

Saluting Woman Power!

2010-03-05T02:03:00.000-08:00

When I was asked to write about the one woman I look up to, it did not take me long to come up with an answer. It is my grandmother.

My grandmother was the most courageous and progressive woman that I have come across till date.

Being a woman, what she lacked in physical strength when compared with a man, she made up with her inner strength. It was this innate courage that helped her cope with this roller-coaster ride called life.

Her patience, tolerance, courage, and compassion were the four pillars of her strength.

She was a woman who was barely educated (in the traditional sense she had been to school only up till class 3), yet she was one of the most knowledgeable women I ever knew. She had embraced the philosophy of aryasamaj. Her views on society, politics, education, women’s liberty would leave any so called intellectual to shame. She had read all the Vedas and was a truly liberated woman.

She encouraged her husband, my grandfather to move to the city (Delhi) from a small village in Haryana because she wanted a better life for her children and herself. A truly ambitious woman, she left no stone unturned to help her husband fulfill his dream of a flourishing business in Delhi.

It was her loving and motivating presence that allowed her children to excel in their chosen fields.

She raised her granddaughters as sons and instilled a sense of independence in them from a very young age.

Today, she may not be there with me anymore. But she has left her values and courage as a legacy to me and my sisters.

This women’s day, I take the opportunity to salute my grandmother and sing a song in her honor, praising her dignity and a sense of self respect.

Redefining romance!

2010-03-04T11:56:00.000-08:00

Growing up on a staple diet of mills and boon novels, I had a certain notion about romance...very very mush, extremely OTT, and the hero and the heroine would inevitably ride together into the sunset! There would then be that predictable happy ending with the declaration "And they lived happily ever after!"

Then I read Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell where the hero and the heroine did not ride together into the sunset, where the heroine did not swoon at the sight of the dark, brooding, grumpy, filthy rich and sickeningly gorgeous hero. Rhett Butler, the sexiest fantasy man to date was all of what I described earlier, but the heroine was different too. She was no virgin, definitely not miss goody two shoes, had a mind of her own, and stood her ground in front of the super sexy Rhett (I'm almost swooning already at the thought of him!), and did not cry copious tears pining for the man she loved. She wasn't apologetic about using him for financial security or about using any means whatsoever (what is popularly and cheaply known as womanly wiles) to get him back when she realized that she wanted him. And in the end Rhett and Scarlett do not ride into the sunset. Instead of the happily ever after, the book ends with Rhett telling Scarlett "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" To this Scarlett replies "I'll go home, and I'll think of some way to get him back! After all, tomorrow is another day!"

Wondering what's gotten into me? Why have I suddenly unleashed this summary of probably the original chick-lit novel?

Well, over the years, I thought I had finally become practical and mature and had moved into my Scarlett/Rhett romance era as opposed to the Mills and Boon romance era for good. ;)

That was until today!

:) the thing is that today was my parents' 30th engagement anniversary! not wedding anniversary but engagement. And what happened during the course of the day took me back to my pre-Gone with the Wind fantasy days!

8:00 AM: My parents and i are driving to the nearby park for our customary morning walk. Mom casually mentions, do you know what day is it today? I take the hint and excitedly say that it is their engagement anniversary. This of course was for my father's benefit who I was sure would not have remembered. :)

12 Noon: Papa comes home to pick his tiffin. Mom packed kofte for papa. Normally, she would not, coz papa is a diabetic, but today was special, you see!

3 PM: Papa calls to check if my mom is around. I tell him that she isn't. I ask him if there is a message and he shyly says "Nahi aise hi baat karni thi."

He then goes on to say, "Achcha aaj wo hamari anniversary hai na. kuchch lau?" I tell him excitedly, "bouquet le aao." :)

8 PM: Papa and my brother are having dinner. Mummy enters the room. My father is shy to give the bouquet to her so tells her "ye bouquet rakha hai." hehehe. Mom looks at it and like any self respecting woman would storms out of the room. I ask her "kya hua? papa itne pyar se aapke liye bouquet laye hai aur aap..." and she says "dia kaise?" :) i go to the room and tell my father "ache se do na, warna nahi manengi" then mom walks in again. This time round papa gives it to her nicely with a smile on his face. I wish you all could see the look on my mom's face. She was blushing like a teenager. hahah I know this is getting more filmy by the minute!

10 PM: Papa Mummy go for an after-dinner walk. Normally, my brother and I accompany them. Today, we give them some privacy. Its a moon-lit night and my parents walk hand in hand. (Okie that bit I added on my own :) but it sort of fits in!)

11 PM: Papa tells me that he will ensure that she takes her BP medicine first thing tomorrow morning. He says "Mai apne hath se khilaunga. Fir kaise bhulegi?"

Who says romance dies after a few years of married life...my parents are going great guns...with god's grace! I think I am going to stick with the mills and boon romance era for a while now! :)

Butterflies in the tummy!

2010-02-23T02:58:00.000-08:00

****! the expletive is a result of the few butterflies who seem to be wreaking havoc in my tummy right now! You know that feeling when you are trying to keep everything in your tummy down but they seem to be having a party of their own!

Have been having a few of these riots in my big fat tummy lately!

I remember feeling like this when I sat on one of the rides in the amusement park last year....you can't control the excitement...you can't decide if you want it at all, you aren't sure if you want it to stop! Hell, you aren't even sure if you won't go back to the ride to experience the feeling all over again!

So a lot of things seem to be happening...a lot of changes...and I always thought I had a huge problem accepting change...then I turned 30-1 and I realized that I could live with any thing life had to offer :P

Honestly, not just griping as a woman on the wrong side of 25...but life takes an about turn when you reach the ripe age of 29. :)

I'm deviating again....So, like I was saying...this time round the butterflies have had quite a few occasions to party.

Let me not be a party pooper and spoil their fun...I wont spill the beans on the reason for their celebration either! All I'll say is...on account of my old age, could the adult larva please keep the noise down? :D

Oh! and I'll heartily welcome any suggestions that you may have to tame these lil wild things a wee bit!

Save Tigers…a Great Initiative

2010-02-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

I am not one of those great nature and animal lovers whose heart goes out to animals…which is not to say that it does not pain me when I see bears with jugglers and horses and camels being used for “sawari” in melas…. kids and adults as fat as elephants fit to be ridden themselves plonk their behinds on these animals while they shed tears!

It boils my blood when I see all of this…but sadly, I don’t do anything.

I remember having numerous “naughty” conversations with gal pals about what a beautifully powerful animal a tiger is. Conversations range from how majestic looking a tiger is, what sexy eyes it has, and what an amazing gait!

But, honestly since most of us quit going to zoos before we got into our teens, our image of tigers is relegated to what we have either seen on television or in books.

Each time I have spoken to people who went to Jim Corbett or Ranthambhore to spot tigers, they have only described their sightings of beautiful birds….

This in a way is an indication of how prominent is the danger that tigers find themselves in.

Just 1411 tigers left…isn’t that particularly ominous?

This was one initiative that truly captured my attention, more so because I recently witnessed how this majestic animal was literally tamed and domesticated.

I had gone to Thailand where for INR 350, you can feed a cub some milk from a feeding bottle…If that is not piteous, I don’t know what is…

The cub is nearly starved to death, so that the moment a bottle is brought close to its mouth, it suckles at it, without pouncing on a mere human that poses to hold it in his or her lap. It’s a hideous sight. Unfortunately, I was one of the people who willingly posed for this cruel spectacle. The sheer injustice dawned upon me much later.

These safaris to my mind are a mockery of wanting to keep the tigers alive. A tiger or a lion is a majestic animal. Irrespective of the area kept for these animals, you cannot deny the fact that at the end of the day, the tigers are living in captivity, not in their natural abode as they should. Why should that be?

I think we will do nature a great service if we allowed these animals to live in their own habitat. It sounds preachy alright, but all it takes to get you to understand what I am talking about is to go visit a zoo and spot a royal animal like a tiger or a lion in a cage looking helpless.

On an ending note, the least that you can do is when you see a disgusting brat of a kid or his or her more disgusting parent poking the animals at the zoo or pelting stones at them, throw a stone back at them…They deserve it!

Y is the whole world going gaga abt Avatar?

2010-02-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

Prachi: My analysis of 3 D avatar: i say its an english remake of any rajanikant movie...itne lambe lambe fatte! by god! its like straight out of a manmohan desai movie....to top it all jaise jagran me "mata" aati hai, wasie ek jagran type scene me Ihwa mata blesses Jake Sully! kamaal hai!

Saurabh: prachi .. kyon logon ki life main tension la rahi hai .. aachi to movie hai .. rajnikaant to pata nhi but ..old hindi movie jaisi jaroor thi .. : jamindar , jamin hatiyana chahta hai .. , bhoodhi ma .. ko marne se nhi bacha pata bichara hero, fir sub bhajan gate hai .. sub tha movie main .. mujhe or Rush ko " oo palan hare " yaad aa raha tha .. jab sub baith ke Iwaha ki wait karte hai .. 1 bar to hume laga .. vo Jake Sully nahi Shake-chillii bot rahe hai .. :D ask Aki n Soumik...

30-1 Series: Episode 3

2010-02-06T01:51:00.000-08:00

All izz well :)

So, finally the D day arrives...it is my happy budday! :) 30-1, does not hurt any more! hehe who am i kidding! it's killing me!

so here I am blurting out all...the countdown to this momentous occasion of celebrating my arrival into the world year after year...almost thirty years...was rather tumultuous!

As people my age are wont to...I witnessed several incidents that reiterated what amir khan said in 3 idiots...at the end of the day, all is actually well...or so you should constantly tell yourself!

Here are a few things that happened:

I tried to withdraw Rs 50 from my office ATM machine...yes you read right...Rs 50...and no it wasn't because my bania instincts kicked in....well maybe yes! but whatever! so i was trying to withdraw some money when my card was detained in the machine...now I don't know if it has ever happened to you...but I felt as helpless as a school girl who watches the class bully gobbling down her favorite cookie right in front of her eyes. :( When a message flashed on the screen saying "Your card has been detained. Contact your home branch," I felt as if the bully was saying "go do what you can!"

I called the bank customer care executives repeatedly to find out why my card was detained. I had a feeling that it was coz the machine was angry that I had the temerity to want to borrow Rs 50...i was silently praying that some sniggering executive would not ask me in incredulous tones, "Miss Bansal, did you actually try to withdraw Rs 50 from the machine? how could you? Did you not know any better?"

Thank god, that was not the case. They had actually blocked my account. They very "helpfully" told me that they could not tell me the reason for this and that I would have to go to the "Home branch" to find out what yours truly had done to bring about the bank's ire upon herself.

I particularly felt betrayed coz i was all set to go to Select City Walk and indulge in some retail therapy to hopefully forget about my age-related woes! God was not on my side!

Not to be deterred, I told my shopping partner that her debit card was henceforth going to be "our" card! After a serious dose of shopping, i must admit that I felt a helluva lot better...I also got my shopping partner to agree to present the clothes that I had shopped for as my birthday gift! :) so the thought of not having to pay her back made me feel MUCH better.

Any way, the following day, put on a sorry face and convinced my father to accompany his turning-thirty-in-a-year daughter to the bank to fight the big bad wolves at the bank in noida. Noida is a freaking 60-plus-or-minus-two-kilometers away from my place. There was no way I was going to travel on my own that far....

Because of this stupid trip, I was going to report late to work...really late. I had foreseen working over the weekend...exactly what I wanted...since on one of the fateful days, i would be giving in to the forces of nature...and would be turning OLD! :(

So papa and I go all the way to noida to be told that the bank of today's times committed to serve its customers had closed my account because they had tried to send some silly mail to my postal address, which was returned twice due to nonavailability. This was my previous organization's address. Because I am really conscientious and a crusader for saving the environment, I had opted for the email statement facility. The #%$&*** also had my god-damned phone number. However, the morons insisted on contacting me through snail mail for some inane reason.

So, when the bank told me that they would take about 10 working days to open the account again, papa told them that we would close our account. Poor papa was hoping that his threat would work and the bank would bend backwards in expediting the process. :( no such luck, the jerks wouldn't move their you know what. So, the amazingly blank looking lady at the bank told us that we would be receiving the balance in my account through a check. The spiteful woman ensured that we had to spend at least 1.5 hours waiting for my hard-earned money. Okie, I take back the hard-earned bit...but MY money that I earned through whatever means.

So, basically, i was in a mood where I was screaming at everyone, feeling rather bad about the human race in general, and wondering...then while we were waiting papa suggested that we eat something.

During my LSR days, papa would sometimes go all the way from our house to drop me to college, and we would gorge on the yum egg parathas behind the college. We would pack some tea in a thermos and have our picnic. That was eight years ago...yeah yeah..that's how old I am!

And, here we were, because of a twist of fate, after all these years, papa and I were all set to have our own picnic all over again after all these years! I know saying this goes against the vein of this blog...hehe...but I felt really genuinely pleased with life...and thankful for the turn of events!

Yes, I know you are reaching for a handkerchief...my writing does have that effect!

I shall take your leave now...and come back again with another masterpiece soon! :)

30-1 knocking Series: Episode 2

2010-02-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

The Scent of Something

The second episode from the 30-1 series!

Was randomly going through blogs online and came across one that was in the same league as my blog! It was witty, engaging, and different from the run of the mill stuff you readily get! :P

I don't think I want to share the link! not when you have a better option available in my blog! Besides, for a change, I have made up my mind to be heavily inspired from this blog in future :P Lucky ***tard, I'd say!

When you reach the ripe age of...(its okay prachi, you can do this!) 29, (there, I said it!), you kind of believe that you know all that there is to know about life, marriage, relationships, bla bla bla. People often approach you to seek your expert advice! I don't think any body's ever felt let down after one of my pravachan sessions.

Anyway, so I thought I'd share my thorough knowledge of perfumes. I'm dispensing with this precious bit of information that may also answer the most perplexing question of all times...What to look for in a relationship?

Here goes! We'll start with the discourse on perfumes first....why perfumes? Just coz I want to! :)

The picture above owes its presence to the following description:

"Perfumes are generally composed of three different fragrances called notes, which makes up for a harmonious scent. The top note or the head note is the scent you get immediately after you apply the perfume and remains with you for the next few minutes to an hour. Then, it makes way for what is called the middle note or the heart note, which is the main body of the perfume that kicks in once the top note starts to fade; this scent can last for many hours. Eventually as the heart note grows lighter, you start to smell the base note of the perfume. The base note is the underlying tone of the perfume and brings depth to a perfume. Over time, the top note and the heart note soften and the base note is the scent left at the end of the day."

Now, the pearls of wisdom…

“You should look for the base note in your partner! When all else fades away that is what matters...”

The applause is almost ringing in my ears!

30-1....knocking

2010-01-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

okie...this is something I dreaded forever....

The clock is ticking...a little too loud...a few more days..and I'll be...eeks...30-1...I almost typed "3" there...I wish! 27 is digestible, 29 is GRAND! If anyone ever said mid-life crisis, i know what it is. Don't even feel like Bridget Jones anymore...bet she was younger in the movie/novel. :(

Agh...was speaking to this friend today...and discussed how the whole plan has gone kaput! I was suposed to have been married by 24, at best 25, had my first baby by the time I was 27, and around my 29th birthday, I was supposed to be pregnant with my second baby...ofcourse I would have a flat of my own, a car in my name, a decent bank balance...successful career...i had it all painted in front of my eyes. Did I mention that I would not know the meaning of the word "cynicism" as per my plan?

There's just been a "slight" change in "the plan"...I am turning (gawd it hurts) 29. I am single (of course unmarried), clearly childless, not even in a steady job (its a contractual assignment), no flat, no car, and cynicism? of course not! :)

man what a traitor god can be! Several years ago, (before I got into my late twenties), if you asked me "do you have a plan?" I'd say "of course, I do...for the next 50 years!"

Today, if you asked me the same question, all you'd get is a raised eye brow!

Know what's brought about the tirade?...thsi woman who i believe was probably only a couple of years younger to me walked up to me and said "didi, bus kab ayegi?" Bloody ***CH!

And on the trip to Thailand, to help her team guess the name of the movie, this disgusting cousin of mine pointed a finger at me and my "OLDER" unmarried cousin while we were playing Dumb charade. The movie was "Dhalti Jawani!" DO NOT LAUGH! It is NOT bloody funny! grrrrr.

Graying hair, expanding waist line, bags under eyes! approaching 30's is the worst thing to happen to a woman I say! And is it just me or do all women approaching 30 develop an inexplicable affinity towards chocolate, fattening food, and daily soaps?

I mean...ugh...and why is the whole ****ing world gettign maried....men and women...all you need is to turn 21...is the whole world becoming bloody th***i? I mean gimme a break! wait till you are atleast 35 if you are a woman and 40 till you are a man! lame joke...I know...but I bloody mean it! Thank god, I sit next to this woman at work who is also in her late twenties and is thankfully unmarried, unattached, and working on a contract!

That's the sadist in me talking! :) And I'm loving it...

And for once, can people who are married, unmarried, with children, without children, old and young stop asking me what's new in my life...The "news" that you, my parents, and like the whole world seems to be eagerly waiting for...will be delivered to you...while I scream from rooftops, whenever that happens!

This is just the first episode from the "30-1....knocking" series! there's more to come...

Enjoy! and I am NOT saying that cynically! grrrrrrrr...and I amNOT bitter....and I am NOT frowning! and the smile on my face is NOT fake or a result of BOTOX! :)

And YES! I may just bite! I don't know for sure, do I?

A Few Things That Touched Me :)

2009-11-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

I was doing my own thing, busy in my own world, and suddenly this thing happens and I am like wow :) that is nice!

It happens to me sometimes. Just out of nowhere something takes place that leaves me touched. It could be a movie scene, someone I spoke to, someone I saw...one of life's tiny little gifts! Some of these moments fill me with a sense of peace! (Hence the picture, one of the moments when I was truly calm!)

A few days ago, I went to GK with Aruna. I saw this little kid who was asking for money. I dont give them money. I wanted to buy the boy a packet of chips. I did so. Went after him and gave it to him. I just left without looking at him. He came back and smiled at me in a way that no one has ever smiled at me. I mean that. That was the most genuine smile I have ever seen.

Funnily, I thought I had become really practical and I knew how to keep myself detached when I wanted to. A few days ago, a girl told me about how she bravely fought a bunch of bastards all by herself and how her cowardly "special friend" refused to get in touch with her after that. I was consumed with pride for being this girl's friend and I found myself crying at the thought that she had to bear all of it alone and that she had wasted her feelings on an asshole. Honestly, I surprised myself because I did not think I was capable of such emotion anymore.

I wrote a mail to Akshay and Rash, two of my close friends abt missing them a little. Akshay who has off-late been rather reticent about anything remotely mush, wrote saying "You better miss me more than a little buddy!" And like a soppy fool, I got teary eyed. :P

There was this friend called Cheeru whom i got to know through someone. We spoke a few times over the phone, not enough to develop a friendship. With time, and due to circumstances, we lost touch. I got to know of his marriage and I left him a message on Orkut to which he replied. That was my last communication with him, exactly two years ago. Suddenly, yesterday, he pinged me and we spoke as if the past two years had never been there. He is not even a friend, or so I thought, and he very sweetly asked me to come to Jodhpur, his hometown, so that his wife and he could play perfect hosts. Its a silly thing, but this courteous gesture reaffirmed my faith in genuine and true feelings. I had no idea that an instant messenger conversation could lift my heart in such a way.

We were going to attend a wedding...there was an old kishore kumar song that started playing on the radio....and papa who by the way is not blessed with the most melodious voice around...started singing...:P I think that was one of the most special moments of my life!

I think we spend so much time finding meaning in things that don't exist or should not matter that we forget to let seemingly insignificant things affect us in a great and beautiful way!

Hmm?

2009-11-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

I thought in the past few years I had gone through such a metamorphosis that I could understand/explain almost anything I encountered…I realize that I gave in to smugness yet again…

There are so many things that completely stump you and you are left speechless…

Does that happen to you? Do you fumble for words when somebody asks you a question and you don’t know the answers?

Been happening a lot to me lately…I am yet to find answers to these questions :)

Found a few answers...so writing them down!

What is your ambition in life? To find a dream to live for and then fulfill that dream!

Who knows all your secrets?

जो होता है वो अच्चे के लिए होता है? You alone can make that happen, if you want to!

What is your best friend’s name? (:P Don’t get me wrong! I have a few very close friends I can count on…but best friend…dunno)

What are the names of the governors of Delhi and MP? Delhi's Lt. Governor: Tejender Khanna

What do you often dream about?

What is your favorite (food, book, actor/actress? Honestly, I can ever tell for sure)

Do you think I have lost weight? (hehehe…yeah I don’t want to lie and how can I tell if you have…a drop from the ocean does not make that much of a difference :P)

Have you ever been in love? No

Whose side are you on? (Get involved in this ugly choice making pretty often these days!)

What are you thinking? (Usually, I am thinking about a thousand things at the same time…they are all inter-related and not related at all…so what do I say?)

Those are just a few things that I can recall right now...

This blog is my journey...a journey of self discovery..maybe finding answers to some of these questions will reveal a new facet of my personality to me. :)

I’ll find out the answer to the question about the governors’ names pronto :)

Truck/Auto Shayari

2009-11-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

Consider this: You are stuck in traffic jams that you cant seem to get out of? You are already running late, it is scorchingly hot---you have already begun using the choicest hindi abuses for everyone within sight, definitely including the horny middle-aged pervert ogling you; you have begun cursing life; blaming people; you are convinced that god is unkind; life is unfair...just then, there comes a glimmer of hope...everything is alright, life is fine...

Who or what is this godsend? It is an auto rickshaw or a truck that you have spotted with absolutely
out-of-this-world shayari! Sounds familiar? I bet you have experienced this if you are a Delhiite. I love the originality of our autowallahs and truck wallahs. The sheer nonchalance with which these people exhibit their HORRIBLE sense of humor always leaves me laughing out loud! I mean that! The cheesiness of the "poetry" is what ends up making it funny :P

Very recently, I spotted this hilarious sample of an auto wallah's creativity: a self composed couplet that seemed like a passionate declaration of love:

"बिन फेरे हम तेरे!" :)

Here are a couple of more examples of absolute genius that I have found over time.

1) मै चली तो तेरी क्यों जली!

2) Voh aaye hamaaree qabr peh, diyaa bujha kar chaley gaye, Baaqi jo teyl tha deevey mein, sar peh laga chaley gaye!

I would love it if you shared some of the ones that you have come across.

Diwali: The Festival of Lights

2009-10-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

I love this time of the year. The festive season has just begun. Everyone is in such great spirits, people seem to leave their worries behind and make a genuine effort to be warm to each other, to be happy, to absorb the brightness around them.

Diwali in particular is one festival that stands for conquering the darkness within and without with everything bright and beautiful. The gentle fire is truly symbolic of spreading warmth in your life.

For me, this time of the year is really special. There is always something life altering that is waiting to happen for me post navratras. This year was no exception. In fact, I think it was this year, that I did not just see the proverbial cloud with the silver lining after a really dark night and bla bla bla...there was a pretty good explosion of light that left me well and truly awake :) This year, it seemed as if the powers that be took it upon themselves to not just show me the path but literally drag me out of a hopelessly misleading mirage to a road with very clear directions to move on to "what are in reality greener pastures" :)

Preachy? So what, i refuse to be apologetic! ;)

So, anyway, the festive season has so far succeeded in doing what its meant to do at least for me!

Its woken me up from my drunken stupor, its filled me with hope and determination,. its brought warmth, cheer, and clarity into my life.

I hope its done the same for you. Wish u a very happy and prosperous festive season.

PS: You know beginner's luck favored me thoroughly this year. I learned flash for the first time from my "juari" cousins and ended up winning all the stakes :P I was taking hopeless chances and all of them paid off. When I lost, I could fall back on the reserve I had, when there wasn't any, money was arranged for me.

So may be, that is what you should do in life too. Take risks, not always calculative, and sometimes just hopeless chances. If they don't pay off, you will still manage. You will come up with an alternative...trust yourself, trust God :)

My Life!

2009-10-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

*“I started my journey from frustration and curiosity and I have traversed over my fear of starting something new. Along the way I also crossed finding something new and I have reached losing something new…along the way…managed to meet pride…”

Years ago when I was in school, my teacher asked our class which animal each of us identified ourselves with. I replied a squirrel coz it minds its own business and keeps out of others’ way. Although that would not be my answer now, but its amazing how I chanced upon a book about a squirrel that managed to teach me quite a bit about my own life. The quote above is from the same book, Zapp: The squirrel who wanted to fly.

I am ending this post here...I know its abrupt...but life's like that...there is no beginning and no end...it is a series of nows...

Second Chances

2009-09-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

I have read a lot of Paulo Coelho books lately...so chasing dreams, taking seemingly hopeless chances that always pay off, holding on to faith and hope is something that I seem to have absorbed. :)

I think most of us can make the fatal error of holding on to an illusion or a fantasy as chasing a dream. I know I did that. I guess there is no way of knowing the difference till you have learned the hard way...But guess what, at the end of the day, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you held the fort...till the very last minute.

I am like a sponge. When I begin reading something or watching something, I completely soak myself in it. What I am trying to say is that since I have read books in the similar vein, I have been obsessively trying to find the "hidden message" in my day to day life! Luckily for me, the foolishness is paying rich dividends...especially in terms of optimism.

A few days ago, I was watching Farah Khan's chat show. They featured a braveheart who had been paralyzed from waist down. The doctors gave up on him...he did not! He fought back because he said he does not know what defeat is. His name is now in the world record for having driven to the highest motorable pass without a break.

To say I was inspired would of course be meaningless and a cliche. His courage speaks for itself. What I thought was that he grabbed a second chance from life. It wasn't handed to him on a silver platter.

I looked closer home. Several years ago, my father suffered from sciatica. Its a condition due to which my father who is my superhero was in unbearable pain from his waist below. He could not move and had to depend on my mom to even go to the washroom. I saw my father battle that phase of his life like a warrior. He would smile when others would have shed tears. That for me was the biggest inspiration ever. We had a doctor who was a godsend. He told my father that god could not cure him. The only person, the only treatment for him was his will power. My father is the richest man in that department.

Being the magician that he is, Papa performed the miracle. He forced God to give him what was his...the kind of life he wanted to lead.

I know that I will fight tooth and nail for my second chance. I won't give in and I won't give up...its not in my blood :D

Eavesdropping: 1

2009-08-18T08:06:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed how sometimes we cant keep ourselves from eavesdroping...Thanks to my supposedly "holier-than-thou" nature, I keep reminding myself that eavesdroppers never get to hear anything good abt themsleves or something that they want to hear.

However, today, that was not the case. I "unintentionally" eavesdropped on a conversation that left a smile on my face and an assurance within me through the day.

The following is the snippet of a conversation between a senior colleague (SC) and my workstation neighbour (WN):

SC: Koi nahi hota hai. Life goes on.

WN: What is this about?

SC: Ye din bhi chale jayenge.

WN: Kaunse din?

SC: Bure din. Jaise ache din nahi rahe bure din bhi nahi rahenge.

WN: Are...aaj aise kaise?

SC: I read somewhere that the skin of our palm peels itself every six months. Hum apne palm ko dekhte hai and tell ourselves ki ye to mera hath hai. Six months later the skin sheds and its not the samer palm anymore. Jab apka hath apka nahi to fir...

I was hooked. :) I mean what a thing to have said yaar. Have been chanting that bit of conversation all day and cant describe to you how it affected me...

My Tryst with Reiki

2009-08-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

I had been thinking about learning reiki for a long time. One of my cousins is a professional reiki healer. Whenever she asked me to give ia shot, I sniggered thinking that it was something only "strange and weird" people did. To use my mother's terminology, "normal" people do not take these things up!

In fact, a friend of mine who is obviously a lot more well read than my mom, responded with this when she got to know that I was learning reiki "Jadu karegi kya?"

With these misconceptions, I finally took the plunge when I felt the need to cleanse myself of negativity. I want to share my exerience to at least try and explain what reiki actually means..at least what it has done for me :)

I dont know how to meditate. I knew nothing about reiki. Just went because I thought it would help me and I wanted to do everything to help me :)

There was another lady who had come to learn reiki with me. She was a sixty year old braveheart who was blessed with a beautiful marriage but was battling cancer. Her loving husband had insisted that she undergo reiki to attract all teh positive energy that she could to heal herself. :)

I will not disclose the issues that we discussed there but I want to share teh process.

After talking to each other about the issues that we wanted to resolve, we shared our beliefs with each other. Our instructor told us how reiki could help us.

She then told us about the seven chakras in our body that could be visualized as seven different colors of the rainbow...VIBGYOR. These seven chakras are responsible for our life functions.

I will write another post about the proces in detail. I only want to focus on the experience for now.

Reiki is all about positive thinking. It is thanking God for everything that you "HAVE" in your life. It does not mean turning your eyes away from what is bad or negative...but the power to change that negative into positive.

The basic philosophy of reiki is that love is god, that it is god who is the guiding force in your life. God manifests in your life through love. This is love for yourself, for your near and dear ones. It says you are a magnet and if you give love you will sttract love and if you do not, you will repell love.

I guess that explains the bible verse "love thy neighbour ;P" haha...but on a serious note, it empahasizes the need to love yourself unconditionally, to accept yourself truly and to feel joyous for your existence. It is about focusing on happiness.

Ever since I came back from the session I feel a sort of change in my day. Its like a series of good things happened. They happened because I thought about them. And so I was in charge of my happiness.

This is the simplest truth in life. We all know this. But we forget it often. Reiki just reinforces that.

I am glad I decided to learn more about something that can empower me to alter my life the way I want to :)

Rakhi this year...

2009-08-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

Like always, I was looking forward to Rakhi...knew my bank balance would increase considerably...was not disappointed...

Had the customary snapping session with my brother Akshat, we were clicked with morose faces with our parents taking a dig at us! Was followed by a silent lunch together...and a few hours later we were back to our normal selves :P Its becoming a sort of tradition now...

What I had not expected was to have another brother so late in my life...dont get me wrong my mom hasn't added to the roost...i tied rakhi to ayush so... :D

i know the concept of rakhi brothers is sort of dying and before yesterday I would have sniggered at anyone who would suggest a thing like that. But, I felt really nice.

That moron called me early in the morning and said he wanted to meet. :) I just took a rakhi with me on the spur of the moment...all dressed up and all haan!

Tied the rakhi for him and it felt great...I mean u know one of those tender moments you never want to confess to :) but im feeling courageous today! so, admitting...in fact, I even had the %$*** to message him and tell him how I felt :P imagine told Ayush that! I think the guy's completely changed now...completely lost his sting...so told me in as unlike a manner as possible for him...I felt great too :D

Kind of a sweet experience...will cherish it...!

This thing called status message!

2009-08-01T00:57:00.000-07:00

This colleague had a fight with her boyfriend and changed her gtalk status to "Tired fo this thing called Life" hehehe i mean I am sorry but I could not stop feeling amused at such a public declaration of your feelings...Her boyfriend promptly changed his status to "When you are unhappy you just wallow in pain, when you are angry you bring about a change!"

What profound words....

A friend of mine often uses some title tracks of mushy hindi songs as her status message, changing it frequently depending on her mood. The lady in question had recently got engaged and used the status "teri or teri or" from singh is king...I forgot to ask her what exactly the message implied and she threw a fit...said i should ask her what prompted her to change the message...a few days later it turned out that her fiance was a creep who deserved to be thrown down the highest cliff...and i would have done so gladly..but could not! anyway, after the break up I expected her to change the status message to something like "tainu ghodi kisne chadaya bhootni ke" but it never did come...would have been fun though!

How easy people find it to wear their hearts on their sleeves...Another aquaintance often changes her gtalk status according to her mornings spent with her husband..the tagline changes from naughty to censor material to soppy...its a lil embarassing too at times!

There is also a certain group of people (including yours truly) who change their social networking site's status message frequently to spread some "precious" pearls of wisdom...

Frankly, i hate it when people do that...i know I admitted i do so too...but I mean gimme a break...what makes you think you can force a "thought for the day" down someone's throat like that!

:D my favorite status message is "TGIF" which I promptly use every single friday...and I've decided that on teh first of each month, it shall be "Meetha hai khana aaj pehli tareekh hai" DO send in more funny taglines please! These at least make you smile!

TO sign off...a really funny tagline comes to mind...and it stayed with me coz it was such in your face humor!

...Byron's epitaph read "To all you virgins, thanks for nothing!" :P

Why I love Farhan Akhtar

2009-06-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

Because he is cute

Because he always talks about following his dreams: Dil Chahta Hai...Lakshya...Rock On...

Because he is cute

Because I lovvvvvvvvvvvvve the way he sings "Tum ho to" and all the other songs in the movie, even "saaso ki zarurat ho jaise"

Because he is cute

Because he has a sexy smile with perfect big wide teeth

Because he is cute

Because he comes across as really naughty in his interviews

Because he is oh so cute :D

Dreams and Wishes do Come True!

2009-05-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have met so many people who stop believing in their dreams...who for various reasons stop wishing. Sometimes, their closest dreams are shattered and on other times unfulfilled wishes leave them disillusioned...I try very hard to not find myself amongst that group. I try very hard to stay away...I have been there, I sometimes find myself approaching them...but thankfully, with the support of my near and dear ones and with sheer determination, I manage to hold myself back.

At the outset, let me share my motto in life with you..."Thoda aur wish karo!" I know its as cheesy as it can be...and on top of that its a tacky line from a tackier advertisement...

But, its my philosophy in life. I think the one thing that makes a person truly happy is a dream to live for. Unfortunately for me, I have not been able to find a "theme for my dream." Before you label me "filmy", please read on...just a little more.

I am a very laid-back person. I don't remember ever pursuing anything with burning passion, with a couple of exceptions, at the most. I am not extremely ambitious, so my dream is not to reach the top of the corporate ladder. I have been blessed with a reasonably well-off family, and can afford the luxury to not be crazy about minting money. I haven't honed any skills in particular (blame it on my laid-back attitude) and so do not dream of perfecting my art. I am not very comfortable in big groups and keep to a certain group of people so I dont dream about absolute power or immense popularity.

Now, what does that leave me with? Precious little na? For this reason, I set a goal for myself on a daily basis-to make a wish or see a dream-sometimes random things-nothing path-breaking, normal stuff that most of us take for granted. And sometimes incredible things like world peace, protection for women and children, and a couple of other things, which fall in the realm of conjecture.

I just wanted each one of you to realize (while I reaffirm my belief) that no matter what your wishes and dreams, if you wish really hard, it comes true. I know another cliche from the Alchemist, Jab we met, et al. But, ok suggest something better!

Let me share with you some of the most inane things that I wished for/dreamt and they came true over the past month!

I was sitting at home for almost 4 mnths. I had been dying to get back to NIIT, my first ever office. I got a call from them.

I dreamt of chole bhature. The next day, my mom took me to Kamla Nagar and we had the very famous Chacha's chole bhature.

I wished to see an old aquaintance in NIIT. I had no idea she would still be there as it had been 3 years since I heard anythng about her. And she walked up to me at NIIT.

I was dying to talk to a friend. Rashmi called up.

I wanted to look great at a party where I was all dressed up. I got lots and lots of compliments.

I was feeling lonely. Ashu called up.

I wanted to have samosa. My father got me samosas without my having to tell him.

I wanted to go to Big Chill. My friend Poonam suggested we go spontaneously. I had the yummiest dessert in the world just what I had wished for.

I was missing my friend. Ayush called up to say he was returning to Delhi.

I wanted to meet my niece. My cousin came home for a stay with my niece without my calling her.

I wanted my mom to be perfectly alright and her pain gone. The pain in her leg decreased considerably.

I wanted a course I was constructing to receive good client feedback. I received a sign off with good feedback.

I wanted to go to Big Chill again today. Poonam agreed and we went.

There are so many things that go unnoticed in teh course of the day, thngs that you wish for or forget to wish for.

Just remember, wishes come true. Dreams turn into reality.

So, the next time you wish, be very careful what you wish for.

A nice surprise :)

2009-05-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

On Friday Poonam very sweetly took me to my most favorite place in the world (after jammu that is) Big Chill!

It was so spontaneous...she just said lets go if you want! we walked down quite a bit...and she hates walking...i was too excited about the whole thing to mind her cribbing!

ANd then we were at Khan market...i love this place...something draws me to it...what else Big Chill!

And then i was at BIg Chill...could not wait to order all the goodies...but settled for my favoritest dessert...their chocolate brownie with chocolate sauce and coffee ice cream...i think poonam was talking, I did not listen...was too busy relishing my dessert! one bite and mmmmmmmm...

wish could explain what a feeling it was...the right word may not be suitable for a public platform like blogger! But, I use it often to describe great sumptuous ravishing food :D

It felt great being at Big Chill that evening...And to top it all, we went to CP after that, nothng could be a better end to the evening.

Thanks once again for the lovely evening Poonam!

Perfection to me is...

2009-04-04T01:40:00.001-07:00

I wanted to just pen down my definition of perfection...Realized the list was rather rambling!

Perfect food: egg roll at vasundhara

Perfect drink: ginger cardamom chai

Perfect sweet: Brownie with coffee ice cream and chocolate sauce at Big Chill

Perfect pastime: Gazing at nothing in particular

Perfect grouse: Being asked to work when all I want to do is gaze L

Perfect word: Awesome

Perfect Abuse: Sala/Sali

Perfect mood lifter: sms from Swati Mathur

Perfect phone pal: Ayush Tripathi

Perfecttravel companion: Asha Malik

Perfect romantic couple: My parents

Perfect beauties: Paakhi and Aishani

Perfect peeve: Not having my way

Perfect project: Infosys@FCS

Perfect Success: Being admitted to LSR (so far)

Perfect Recipe: My chocolate cake…people will vouch

Perfect combination of good looking face, cute butt, and sexy eyes: Ashton Kutcher

Perfect feel goodie goodie factor: conversation with Rashmi Sharma Iyer

Perfect beautiful eyes: Rashmi Sharma Iyer

Perfect weirdly large Garfield eyes: Ayush Tripathi

Perfect dose of assurance: single sentence from Shikha Bhatnagar

Perfect Diva: noone actually…

Perfect confidante: Shikha Bhatnagar

Perfect read: Harry Potter…the entire series

Perfect movie scene: A lot like love…where Ashton Kutcher sings to Amanda Peet

Perfect Restaurant: Big Chill

Perfect twinkling eyes: Paakhi’s

Perfect brat: Aishani

Perfect beautiful smile: on a baby's face

Perfect favorite place in the world: Vaishno Devi

Perfect reaffirm your faith place: Vaishno Devi

Perfect Hang out: CP and Dilli Haat

Perfect vacation: Rishikesh trip

Perfect miracle: Too many to count

Perfect travel agent: mom…sends on guilt trips frequently L

Perfect source of inspiration/motivation: The Nescafe “open up” song

Perfect Excuse: Was/am really busy

Perfect accomplice: Vacant spot. Call fast J

Perfect horror story: Traveling 57 kms per way to work at Greater Noida everyday

Asha Malik, The Drama Queen

2009-03-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to Miss Asha Malik. The post attempts to capture a few funny and weird incidents that come as a package with this bag of surprises christened Asha! By the way, you have my word that what I have written in this post is nothing but the truth and the whole truth!

It was upon our return from Vaishno Devi when Miss Malik was in her elements. We spotted a woman who had done loud make up and had worn bright golden tights and had teamed it with a matching hat…She was quite a picture to behold! I wondered aloud where she had managed to find such a breathtaking outfit from. Lo and behold…Miss Malik walked up to the supermodel and put on her most innocent expression when she said, “Excuse me, aapki tights bahut sundar hai. Aap humein batayengi aapne kaha se li.” I swear, I am not exaggerating— it seemed as if the woman with golden tights would die of sheer happiness…It was as if the reason she had taken the pilgrimage had come true. The woman replied “Kalyan Market, Mumbai se.” Ashu continued in the same innocent way, “Hum soch rahe the ki hum is par kadai karwa le aur ise party dress bana le.” The supermodel parted with some fashion tips and said “nahi ye to simple acha lagta hai!” It was one of the most hilarious sights I have had the fortune of witnessing. I was rolling with laughter. I bowed down to Miss Nautanki, Asha Malik. J

As if one such incident in the day was not enough, madam had to spring another surprise act on us! This time I was more mortified than amused!

Preeti normally walks at the pace of a marathon runner. Surprisingly, the 30 plus Km journey on foot did not alter that. On our way back from Vaishno Devi to Katra, she just galloped ahead. Ashu due to her broken foot and me out of concern for Ashu and not for any other reason were plodding along. At this point, Asha madam decided that she wanted to have sugarcane juice. Trouble was that she and I had run out of money and Preeti carried the rest of the money. I heard her say “Pracs mujhe to pina hai!” and I knew that I was in for a very unusual and an absolutely unexpected experience whether I wanted it or not. Being immensely sensible, infinitely wise and exceptionally mature, I decided to use my most chocolate-coated andpatience-dripping tone of voice to try and pacify the little brat, but to no avail. L Ashu just had to have what she had set her heart on…Ganne ka juice! I tried another tack and told her that there was one more “ganne ke juice ki” shop further and that Preeti would surely be waiting for us there. Convincing her was pretty much like moving a mountain…so my happiness knew no bounds when I succeeded! Alas, my happiness was short-lived! We reached the wretched shop in the next five minutes with no Preeti in sight. L

I saw the hitherto asleep monster stirring awake in Ashu’s twinkling eyes when she suddenly gave me a very very sly smile. She announced extremely nonchalantly that she would request the first good looking guy she spotted to buy her a drink…a glass of ganne ka juice! Imagine! In Vaishno devi….this was sacrilege…paap! Mata and of course I, the humble guard of piety and sanctity would have none of this in Mata’s holy abode…I announced that she only had 5 minutes to carry out the horrific deed, if she must! She stood her ground right in the middle of the rasta, forgetting all about her aching foot and began searching for Mr. good looking. I was of course praying as hard as I could invoking the powers that be to stop them from sending any guy at all at least for five minutes. Wrong prayer. I should have known that Ashu would inevitably renege on her promise to me. The woman possessed stopped a poor unassuming uncle right in his tracks…The following dialogue took place between them:

Ashu (in an exaggeratedly polite tone): Uncle

Uncle (thinking to himself ‘uncle mat kaho na’): Haan bete?

Ashu: Kya aap humein 20 rs de sakte hai?( To say that I was embarrassed would be the grossest understatement of the year…I wished the ground would open and just swallow me. I tried to walk away on the sly…but how could Miss Malik allow that to happen. It seemed like an eternity before the man seemed to open his mouth again. I mean how often does one spot English speaking, jeans clad, good looking beggar women…)

Uncle: Uh…Wo…Kyu?

Ashu (thinking to herself ‘ye to fasa’): Humein ganne ka juice peena hai. Jinke paas hamare paise hai wo kaafi door nikal gaye hai. (I was way past thinking anything or feeling anything. I did my best impersonation of my “mai kaun hu, mai kaha hu, ye aunty kaun hai” look.)

Uncle (looking very reluctant and seemingly wondering ‘Mujhse kyu?’): Achcha

Ashu (eager to ease the man’s pain): Hum apko paise wapis de denge. Humein aage milna aap.

Uncle (looking as reluctant as humanly possible with a look that said ‘mere 20 rs to gaye’): Ab agar miloge to de dena…nahi to…theek hi hai…Hum intezaar nahi karenge.

He stuck out the hand with a 20 rupee note, held on to it with dear life. Ashu ofcourse pretty much snatched it out of the poor guy’s hand. She gave her mega watt smile in return and said“Chal Pracs…ganne ka juice awaits.” Let me take this opportunity to thank you for what I hope was the most embarrassing moment of my entire life Ashu. I really do hope that no other embarrassing situation has the potential to put this one to shame ever!

We of course never found the uncle and could not return his money. We suffered momentary guilt pangs which were dispelled when Preeti amidst peals of laughter assured us that we were actually sent by Vaishno Mata as her avatars so that the man could have fed us. Who were we to argue with “What was written!”

As for Ganne ka juice, it was everything it was supposed to be…refreshing, yum, and the source that added the much needed fizz to our otherwise sweet trip.

This is how our trip to Vaishno Devi came to an end…and the trip to Nattha Top began…It was also the beginning of a great tragic love story of unrequited love…a triangle actually, starring our driver Miku Singh, Asha Malik, and Preeti Bansal. In fact, I would say it was a remake of Raja Hindustani.

Please check out the teaser above. Our poor lovelorn driver was bitten by the love bug the moment Ashu charmed our driver by her innocence. Hua yu ki the driver told Ashu that a tourist spot called Shivpuri was some 25 kms away from Jammu. Madam racked her brains and said "ye wo hi Shivpuri hai na Haridwar wala jahaan riverrafting hoti hai?" While Preeti and I were busy taking potshots at Ashu's geographical accuracy, the smitten driver was busy losing his heart to our Einstein. He adjusted the mirror in such a manner that her lovely face would be visible to at all times. Looking at her often in the rear view mirror, he would smile at her and she would look away.

Forgive me for sounding like a "K soaps wali vamp," but I was determined to save my dear friend from becoming Rani Hindustani. Little did I know, that my sister Preeti had also found a special place in the driver's heart. I wanted to put an end to the trip asap. It was at this moment when I saw Ashu climbing the snow-capped mountain at Nattha top holding Miku SIngh's hand. Preeti was not to be left behind. She caught up witht them soon enough and ensured that she also received equal attention if not more from Mr Miku.

I had to act fast here. I cut the trip short and announced we were leaving. By now, the sheher ki ladkis had forgotten all about the gaon ka chora. While the teary-eyed Romeo bid adieu to both these ladies, it seemed as if the song "Paldesi Paldesi jana nahi mujhe chod ke" played in the background. As a last minute effort to hold on to his angels, the man looked at them and said "Hum SMS karte rahenge ek doosre ko..." All three of us looked at each otehr because we were sure we would start laughing any moment. The two cold-hearted ladies left behind a very broken heart when they gave away their wrong numbers to the poor soul...

Such is life :(

The Trip to Vaishno Devi

2009-03-12T01:57:00.001-07:00

Day 1: The journey begins….Three ladies, two elderly men in the cabin, and one empty berth thanks to Rajiv…Hardly the beginning we had envisaged! As the train trudged along, Ashu recalled “Jab we Met” and conjured up someone as cute looking as Shahid Kapoor losing his way into our cabin! I thought of the old Lakme ad where a guy boards a plane and a good looking woman comes and says “Shayad aap meri seat par hai!” There had to be a teeny weeny chance of a role reversal here. There had to be a reason God stopped Rajiv accompanying us :D

One hour into the journey and we had made ourselves a little too comfortable in the train. It took a little cajoling before Asha madam agreed to share our lower berths with the other poor souls who had tickets for the upper berths. She wanted that Rajiv’s berth be occupied by our luggage rather than the poor gentlemen!

Post our little photo shoot and delicious paratha session, the cabin didn't look as clean as it did when the journey had begun. We had taken it upon ourselves to make the place seem a little more “lived in.” I have no idea why the two men in the coach seemed bothered while the ladies chatted prettily and talked about issues of world importance like movies and songs and basically everything under the sun. It wasn’t even 11 when the men decided they wanted to sleep! Needless to say, the chattering continued unabated well into the wee hours of the morning. J

Day 2: Early morning…still in the train—I love the way how effortlessly women just take up from where they left when it comes to an interruption in talking. It seemed as if the few hours of sleep which had deterred the generous word flow had simbly not occurred…the incessant pearls of wisdom flew unaided in the morning. Why the men in the coach kept looking at all three of us incredulously, I have no idea.

Oh by the way, we had not booked our return tickets. In the drama that preceded the trip, the parents had extracted a promise of sorts that we would not go to Patni Top and would return to Delhi after the darshan in Vaishno Devi. Of course, that would not happen! We mutually decided that we had to do our bit to promote tourism in the poverty-stricken state of J & K. For this reason, we called the parents from the Jammu station to tell them that the return ticket was available only on Sunday night, which left us with one full day to —you guessed it, tour Patni Top.

Upon reaching Katra, we checked into a hotel after haggling with the reception staff over the price to our hearts’ content….Ashu’s half bania blood was doing its bit you see! Started the chadai at about 5 PM. Poor Ashu hurt her foot and she really did miss a strong dependable knight in shining armor. I mean a lot of pitthus were willing to come to her rescue! As light as she is, I think anybody could have lifted her…but I wanted to remain alive till the darshan so I kept my mouth shut about the pitthu…

Day 3: Midnight…We reached Bhavan, took a shower in the freezing cold ghat, did spectacular darshan, felt an amazing sense of joy and peace. We promised ourselves that we would wake up at 5 in the morning the following day to see the arti…We eventually got up at 9 AM and checked out of the hotel ten minutes after the scheduled check out time!

We started the chadai for bahiro baba, did the darshan and started climbing down. Ashu’s foot was hurting a lot. It is to her credit that in spite of the pain, she chose to smile and made the trip so amazing for the others around her. J Like I said, she merits another post…so the rest of the events in the next post J

Sequence of Events that Precede the Trip

2009-03-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

They say “Jiska bulawa aata ahi wahi Vaishno Devi jata hai!” Well, how do I say this but apparently Mata consented to send the much awaited bulawa very very reluctantly. But persistence pays!

A trip that was initially planned to have taken place in December 2008 finally took place on February 19, 2009, not without lots of drama though…

There were going to be four pious devotees who were supposed to have taken the pilgrimage—Rajiv, Preeti, Asha, and yours truly. However, in the end, Mr Rajiv chickened out of this moment that would well have been the highlight of his single life; the man was going to accompany three single and at the risk of sounding immodest very attractive young ladies…alone! Alas, it was not meant to be.

Kahani poori filmi hai. The plot unfolds below…

Rajiv told his parents rather proudly that he was going to be a knight in shining armor to not one, not two, but three ladies. I don’t think his parents reacted to the news as enthusiastically as he had imagined. For effect, let me add this was the proverbial ‘silence before the storm’…or in this case ‘the tornado.’

Preeti told her very anxious parents that a strong, dependable, man was “chaperoning” the three damsels to save them from any potential distress ;) Her parents gave permission rather unwillingly.

I sort of remembered to forget to mention that somebody called Rajiv was also accompanying us to the trip when my slightly conservative, a tad over protective, and a little over imaginative father enquired about my companions. My ever hopeful father agreed to let us take the pilgrimage in the hope that it may bring about the desired result of finding a suitable son-in-law for his only daughter!

This is where the famed Divine Intervention occurs!

One day before the departure of the train, Rajiv’s parents expressed their indignation at the thought of their son accompanying three women. All hell broke loose…and the poor guy decided that he could not go…L

Preeti, my cousin gave her parents this piece of news exactly two hours before the train to Jammu was scheduled to leave. Her parents could not bring themselves to agree to send their little girl (quite literally) to go out alone in the concrete jungle called Jammu without you guessed it-a strong guy who’d fight the big bad wolves for the delicate ladies.

Preeti’s mom came and expressed her fear of letting the girls go unescorted in front of my parents. My father had no clue what she was talking about when she said that the three girls will be going alone. He said but that had been the case all along…and then my aunt dropped the bomb…she told my father that the guy who was supposed to accompany us would not be coming along. And because it was really unsafe for us without him, Preeti would also not go. One look at my father and I was sure that the explosion would occur any moment. What would be the punishment for a tiny slip like that after all? I was racking my brains silently for any plausible story that I could tell…

In the end, I came up with a story that puts me to shame…quite literally…I’ve always believed that I am a great story teller…and my creativity just betrayed me at that moment. I told my father, that guy was never going to come. He told us he may come. And my father bought it…I mean what was happening here. J

But unfortunately, with my cousin backing out, my father was positive that his delicate darling daughter could not manage with just another tiny tot for company…well you can’t blame him…I mean he doesn’t know what a dynamite that little package is!

Everything had blown apart. Asha had left for the railway station by then. I dreaded calling her to tell her that the trip was off. Have you met her? Hell hath no fury like Asha scorned! Well, I mustered the courage and finally called her. As expected, she declared she was going to go ahead by herself. What was I thinking….I told my father that…Surprise surprise he was still listening to me. J My father still clung to the hope of his son-in-law and was worried that Asha may carry out her threat. He told my uncle (Preeti’s father) that he was going to drop me at the station after all.

Preeti lay in a pool of tears because her parents refused to give her permission to go. Preeti threw a temper tantrum infront of her parents to show them how wronged she felt by pulling out all her clothes from the travel bag.

Amidst all this drama, the clock showed that it was 45 minutes before the train to Jammu left. It takes about 35 minutes to reach the railway station from my place. Upon seeing us leave and tired of Preeti’s tragedy queen act, my uncle told my father that even Preeti could go.

As soon as she heard that, she spent only a few more moments to sob one final time for effect…and then went about pushing everything into her travel bag. 35 minutes left for the train to leave…We made a dash…My father made it to the railway station in record time (The tana maroing he subjected Preeti and me to seemed to help him drive faster.)

At 9:35 the train finally left for jammu. Oh by the way, my father double actually triple- checked that there was no guy like creature in our vicinity! Also, he stayed at the station till the train left, just to be sure you see!

The Trip that Almost Didn’t Happen….

2009-03-02T05:33:00.000-08:00

For your convenience and mine…let me divide this post into two parts (Professional hazard of over three years of organizing content into logical chunks!) The first part is the Sequence of Events that Precede the Trip and the second part is well, The Trip itself. I thought I’d add another part devoted to Ms Malik, my companion…but I am sure that after reading this post, you will realize that madam definitely merits a whole post to herself! J

Wanted A Suitable Boy for a 27-Year Old Woman!!! Part-2

2008-09-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I wrote about my meeting with a suitable bania boy to discuss a marital alliance. I had reservations…which have since long been dispelled. Marriage to me meant a coming together of shared dreams and hopes; it was a result of deep-rooted affection for each other and the fulfillment of the promise made to each other. Like hell!!! It meant that to me…I had grown up on a staple diet of mills and boon novels. I realized belatedly, much to my horror and my parents’ delight that I had just memorized these things and had begun believing in them.

So, as I said, I now stand corrected. I now understand that marriage is well marriage. You can’t define it. Anyway, for me the famed “Enlightenment” took place on January 20, 2008.

I was introduced to Mr. Boy From a Decent Bania Family Who is Well-Educated Earns a Package of 17 Lacs and Has a House of His Own. That’s just the “poor” guy’s first name. If I get down to the last name, I will have to continue the post in my next blog!!!

Anyway, I went to the parlour and beautified myself…put on a nice formal suit and sat prettily in my parents’ bedroom. It was freezing and I wasn’t even wearing a shawl…Why, I think I would have looked like a hag with one. My parents had bought snacks worth thousands to welcome our guests. My entire clan was dressed in their best clothes. The servants of the house seemed to be on a high…for god knows what reason. Anyway, some time must have passed, when yours truly was sent for.

I entered and spotted three men-1) an elderly man with a benevolent smile who sat next to my uncle (Did I mention there were close to 20 of my relatives in the drawing room in addition to the eight guests we had? Our rather spacious living room had not looked more cramped ever!) 2) A bespectacled man who was dressed casually and smartly; and 3) A short bespectacled guy who was dressed as if he had come to a wedding with his head bent down looking anywhere but at me (I silently prayed that this would not be the Mr. Boy From a Decent etcetera etcetera.)

Alas! If wishes were horses! Well, the guy had definitely dressed to kill. I apologize for the snide comments but I have not been able to get over the gold watch and embroidered suit yet. I said hi and the guy responded by nodding his head. I sat between Mr so and so’s mother who seemed like a nice lady and his very attractive and pleasant sister-in-law. My could-be MIL went straight for the kill and asked me if I knew how to cook. I answered in the affirmative.(I can cook anything under the sun except for chapattis after referring a recipe book.) I then turned to chat up the young attractive woman who was an engaging conversationalist. All this while, Mr so and so just sat there with an invisible finger on his lips.

Meeting A (Suitable) Boy!!!

2008-09-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

One of my aunts suggested that Mr and I should go to the other room and get to know each other. The guy rose with almost a prayer on his lips! Please refer the picture to the right. We were as comfortable as this. The guy who was a manager in a top MNC was shivering while talking to me. I was scared that any moment he would cry RAPE!!! Probably, his mother was scared for her son’s safety as well. She did not waste a moment to join us in the room.

Anyway, it was as if I was interviewing the guy. He would only open his mouth to answer my questions. I asked him to describe himself as a person. He said “well, you are looking at me aren’t you. You can judge for yourself.” Now, maybe it’s just me. But, I do find it a little difficult to do a character assessment by simply looking at somebody. Anyway, I asked him what his expectations were from his partner. The prompt reply was “There are many.” I waited for him to elaborate. He did not say so in so many words. But the gist was he wanted somebody was traditional yet modern, broad-minded yet happy to be home, and should necessarily be homely and attractive (I think he did not realize that these were antonyms…actually, his English was a little, actually a lot weak…but, that is hardly, oh all right, not that big a problem!) I asked him if I would be allowed to wear western wear after our marriage and I thought the guy just suffered a mini heart attack. He sounded absolutely scandalized when he said well, maybe you can wear suits…but western wear…

His mom shared all her son’s fears, it seems. She asked me and my mother at least 5 times, if I would wear saris after marriage. In fact, since my parents were absolutely smitten with the Mr and his family, I told my parents I was ready to marry Mr Wonderful.

My father called our well-educated CA boy’s father. He had the same apprehensions as his wife and son. They thought I was too “modern”! They asked my father to make it very clear to me that I would have to give up my job and that I would have to guess what…wear saris…after my marriage.

Apparently, my parents still saw no reason as to why I had suddenly become so adamant about saying I did not share the same feelings for the guy as them.However, they continue to fall deeper and deeper in love with Mr Extraordinary.

Why did I say no? Would I have said yes if the guy was more smartly dressed? Would a better person than me completely ignore the gold watch and the lack of sophistication? Heck, I am myself as clumsy as they come…what the hell do I know about sophistication?…and clothes…do they really maketh a man…I have realized that I am quite vain and immature. So, bring on the next suitable guy…and I’ll just…well…I’ll just put an end to my stupidity.

The Snapshots

2008-05-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

In the past three years, all of us have gone on to create a new set of memories with a new set of friends. Some of us have continued to be friends with each other, while some have lost touch. I don’t want to hold on to my friends, but I will hold on to the memories. I won’t let go. I don’t want to live in the past, but I do want to cherish certain warm moments.

For those of us, who have not been able to nurture our relationship, I am positive our paths will cross. I want to take this opportunity to apologize for anything I might have done or said to upset you. I hope that when we meet, we can each bring an affectionate smile for the other on our faces.

I recently read somewhere that all of us experience certain moments in our lives that remain frozen in our memory forever. I just realized how true that is.

Aks: 1) You and I went to buy Rash’s birthday gift to GK. The cab ride to Kalkaji, the auto ride to GK, the burger at Mac Donald’s, and then getting totally soaked in the rain. Waiting at length for an auto to agree to let us board. When we reached office, people stared coz there was absolutely no rain in Okhla!!! You and I were the only ones who were soaking wet. :D

2) Minerva balcony, it was late evening. There was very little light in the balcony. You and I just sat dreaming with open eyes about all four of us staying together. I just kept my head on your shoulders. And we yakked and yakked and yakked. Aks, thanks for my KODAK moment, also one of my “breathless” moments, Ash knows about it. I’ll tell you guys about it some time. Sweetheart, I am really proud of you for having realized your dream.

Ash: Each of the times you have called me “paaji” and I have called you “baby” and “Ashu.” Love you baby. The first time I baked a cake for Rash’s birthday, you just came and hugged me and said “it was so tasty paaji. Mere liye cake kab banaoge?” i haven’t baked a cake for you exclusively yet. but I will.

Ayush: 1) kyabolu tujhe. Tu ekdam pagal hai. At seed, you kept on poking fun at yourself. I asked you one night why you were so critical of yourself and you confided in me about everything. It felt great that you could trust me. I remember every word that you spoke bhai. Thanks for saying that I am your sister.

Neha: Chauki dhaani. That one day you taught me to let go of my inhibitions and just be myself. Every moment spent dancing in the rain with the folk dancers, in that keechad, taking pictures on the machaan is so fresh that I can touch it.

Rash: J love you lots honey. One moment…and I remember what you wore...the white khadi kurta I picked up from GK. On our way back from jaipur, you just looked at me with all the gussa that I can imagine in your eyes, yet all the love that I have ever heard in any one’s voice, you said “aur mere saath to tu baithi bhi nahi.” I just got up and sat beside you. This snapshot makes me feel precious.

Saleem: The one snapshot that has me in splits. Of you taking on Moon…I mean honestly, Ididnot think that anybody could give that woman a taste of her own medicine. Except you Saleem. When I saw you argue with Moon about your point of view, the last day when all of us were selected, I was laughing inside at Moon’s plight. You do stand by your principles and for your self respect. I think it’s truly amazing.

Shikha: 1) hahah…I think I have to mention your birthday debacle here…itne pyar se wo cake laaye the :D

2) my Kodak moment with you shikhs was the Virtual Learning presentation that we made. I was shivering. You just looked at me and said “darne se kya hoga. Kar legi”. And I did it. J Like I always say tu meri unpaid psychiatrist hai. Practice mat chodio…abhi patientkailaaj baaki hai.

Guys I know that this may be an overdose of sentimentality. But it was really important for me to share this with you. Happy anniversary once again my happy tree friends (I think our friendship starts from the big fat tree in SEED).

Happy Third Anniversary Sparks

2008-05-30T14:01:00.001-07:00

May 31, 2005, SEED, Sainik Farms, Dekhi

It was around nine in the night. I was nervous as hell...I was going to stay away from my family for 2 months for the first time in my life. I had taken up my first proper job. I believed I had to be the dumbest brunette on the block (I had copper colored highlights)…

I finally entered the complex…I was so nervous my heart was jumping inside my body. I had not eaten my dinner properly and my parents had bought me a pizza. I walked past a few people who were sitting together in the cafeteria. I saw everybody smiling and laughing and my heart sank…I asked myself if I would even be able to bring myself to say hello. Some of these people went on to become my dearest friends.

I found myself sitting alone in a room thinking about what I should be doing. A few minutes later, a pretty girl knocked on my door. She had the surliest expression I have ever seen and I was so scared as it is…Now scary woman aka Shikha is my rock star pal…but then...

A few moments later a little girl with a very very squeaky voice (I think we know who we are talking about :P ) entered the room with two other girls. I had already met one of the girls at NIIT during my interview. She had this air of innate confidence that comes from having “been there –done that”. This was Neha. The other girl looked like someone you could not help being friends with. She had wild hair and looked as lost as I thought only I could be :D This was Rash.

Ash received a phone call on her cell from somebody called Ayush. He was asking her if all of us wanted to go downstairs. Everybody said yes. This was the most fun I had had in my life yet.

I was introduced to 5 guys and a girl who sat with them. All these people sat under a huge tree. People had begun poking fun at each other. I would have felt a little out of place but there was rash with her lost expression and big wide eyes. She sat next to me. And I talked nineteen to the dozen only with her. There were Aks, Ayush, Saleem, Arnab, and the girl was Sunaina. Would you believe it, I thought Sunaina and Arnab were siblings!!!! The smiles, the jokes, everything still rings in my ears…I can relive each moment with closed eyes.

This is where all of us met. This is the beginning of a series of memorable moments that I have experienced with each of you. Next post…My Kodak moments with each of you :D

Wanted A Suitable Boy for a 27-Year Old Woman!!!

2008-04-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

Please don’t get me wrong…This is NEITHER a cue for any eligible men to forward their matrimonial profiles (that is what they call bio-datas these days) to me NOR an invitation for anything hanky panky ;) However, I am the 27+ woman in question and this is my account of my parents’ and my search for a suitable bania boy for…you guessed right.

How desperate is that…getting your parents to find a “match” for you…the word match is right…somebody who matches your eligibility criteria and your family’s and the same goes for you and your family.

The eligibility criteria ranges from how much money your dad will spend on the marriage, if your horoscopes match, etc. If you are the shy cum coy cum modern cum traditional cum homely cum talented cum educated from convent schools and colleges cum very fair cum very beautiful girl….you can definitely come into the guy’s family. If you are a guy who earns a monthly package of over a lac and have a house of your own and have a small family and have never been divorced or are not a widower…you can definitely take the woman home…your looks do not matter…or do they? Well, to be honest they do…as I will tell you…

BTW let me clarify…as cynical as I sound in the beginning of this article... I know for sure that this is a tried, tested, and proven method…it works…has worked for ages…for most of my maternal family (the cousins in my paternal family have been what you call slightly forward in this respect…they fought with their parents and opted out of this arrangement to chose their own partners with or without their parents’ APPROVAL) and probably three fourths of the Indian population…I am not sure about the statistics…I think these days most people are as brave as my paternal family…

But anyway…we will talk about the remaining FEW of us who for various reasons log on to shadi.com or matrimony.com or more such websites…who scan bio datas of suitable candidates along with their parents…who overhear telephonic conversations between their parents and the servants of the house…who suggest suitable alliances…have I use the word “suitable” a little to often in this write up? If yes, well the word is suitable for this kind of writing. :D

OOPS…just realized I wrote a lot of hog wash…will end this part here…will move on to a detailed account of my first experience of meeting an eligible bania boy everybody in my family just lovedddddddddd…unfortunately I did not… and I made the fatal error of saying NO!!! Like I said…detailed account in the next post.

March 15, 2008…An average Saturday…I think not.

2008-03-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

Mom woke me up at about 9 AM. I drag myself out of bed…look at her face…ask for a cup of tea…she asks me to tidy the room…says guests are coming.

I chant my prayer in my heart…take a deep breath…look at my face in the mirror opposite my bed…at length…look away from my phone kept by my bedside…get out of bed…usual routine so far...

Dad’s cheerful voice comes from parents’ room…thank god for my blessings…smile…before I go into their room… usual routine so far

Mom gets tea…ask her if she is feeling alright…she had a severe headache yesterday…she looks unusually tired…I fear she has high BP…she ignores my question… usual routine so far

Tidy the room…prepare breakfast for dad…he keeps talking to me and my brother to liven up the morning…we humor him…usual routine so far

Mom is busy putting things in place along with our maid…I step outside for a while…when I get back into the room, mom shows me she has hurt herself. The basement door got unhinged and she got stuck in it. The door is a heavy iron door. I am scared. I ask her if she is hurt badly. As usual she dismisses and says “no, minor hurt.” Her hand is swollen. I apply an ointment on her hand and bandage it…deviation from usual routine…

I thank god for averting what could have been a major accident. I request my mother to take some rest. She ignores me. Usual routine…

Our guests arrive. We greet them. They are elderly people who are here to sort out a distant cousin’s impending divorce…she was beaten up by her millionaire in-laws…deviation from usual routine

I visit orkut. I go through the day trying to focus on what I should be doing…what the day has in store for me…what is it that I will do through the day…look at my phone…look away…hum a prayer…usual routine

It’s four in the evening. I ask mom if her hand is OK. She says yes it is. I take a nap with her. When I wake up, I go to the temple. I thank god for my blessings. I pray for strength. When I return, my brother says he is going out to meet his friend. I go to the market for the customary weekend visit...usual routine

At the market, I buy a stain glass painting set, on an impulse. I’ve never done stain glass painting before. For a few days, I had been thinking about gorging on a burger. I buy calorie-laden burgers from the local bakery… deviation from usual routine

I come back home. Gorge on the goodies. I start the painting…chide myself for the AWFUL attempt…but, continue anyway. I go for a walk… deviation from usual routine

I have taken my watch with me to time myself for the walk instead of my phone…usual routine

I return home much earlier than I thought I would. I check on my phone…I visit orkut. I begin preparing dinner. My brother comes home. He tells me he has met with an accident and that he was lucky to have worn a helmet because he hit his head on the pavement. I don’t know if I am more scared that he met with an accident or more relieved that he is back safe. I ask him how he is. He dismisses my question and says “it’s a minor wound.” I apply ointment on his wound. I step out and go to the temple. I thank god for looking after my family and averting what could have been a major accident. I am really scared. I pray for strength…I pray for the well-being of my family and others. It’s not an average routine day anymore.

I serve dinner to my family. I keep chanting my prayer…thanking god for keeping my family safe. Thanking god for keeping us together so that we could be there for each other when we were needed…I wonder...I am angry with myself for not forgetting. I don't want to be angry.

My mom is moaning now. I ask her what happened. She tells me instead of her hand, her leg is hurting badly suddenly. I can see the pain on her face. I feel helpless. Thankfully, my father is there. My brother is also hurting. I don't want to be weak. My dad is looking after my mother.

I call my cousin who is a physiotherapist. She suggests cold compression for both the patients. I apply ice packs for my mother and brother. I wish them good night. I pray to god. I wonder. I am scared. I thank god we are together. I tell myself I will be strong. I tell myself to stop wondering. I visit orkut.

A lot can happen on a routine Saturday afternoon. March 15, 2008 was not an average day. I am not scared anymore…but I am still wondering…and trying not to wonder.

The Sunscren Song!!!

2008-02-13T09:27:00.004-08:00

I was introduced to this song by a colleague...loved it and wanted to share it with you all...

The Sunscreen Song...By Baz Luhrman (Click here to listen to the amazing song!!!)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 99...Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cant grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you. Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind...the race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, its the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you’ll never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, price will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time its 40, it will look 85. Be careful who advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

True Love requires Courage

2008-02-13T09:27:00.003-08:00

I am a little late in updating the sequel to my valentine fever blog...feel like a bestselling writer of sorts :P Well, on popular demand people... here is my definition of the concept of "love". A little background for the uninitiated- I was trying to answer a few questions I had about what love really is. Fortunately for me, life answered these questions for me. Here goes.

“Lovers” make a lot of sweet beautiful promises to one another-promises of undying love, of forever and ever, of never having met anyone like their better halves. However, it is the courage to fulfill each of those promises that makes naïve dreamers “lovers.” It takes a lot of courage and will power to withstand all pains and tears to be with the one you have shown dreams to, the one you have seen dreams with. Only those who fulfill the promise of togetherness are the ones who have truly loved. A few weeks ago I attended the wedding of two people who fought tooth and nail to fulfill the promise both of them made to each other. The girl had remained resolute in fighting the world to be with the guy. The guy had told the girl on their first date ever that he was not going to leave their being together to chance. Both of them realized their dream of togetherness because for them not being together was never an option. This is true love.
Holding hands in public, endearments, phone calls 24x7, weekend dates, stealing kisses…all activities you will often spot couples indulging in. But how many people understand that the reason a couple is referred to as a singular noun is because they are supposed to be “one” and not two different individuals. Couples are partners who sign an agreement of lifelong partnership. There is no room for breaking this partnership. Both the partners must walk hand in hand to realize the dreams, goals, ambitions of the other. Both partners should be by each other’s side when any one of them needs the support of the other.
Love does not permit leaving your partner to wipe their tears with their own hands, entertaining new prospective partners after deciding to break the partnership alone. A few days before Valentine’s Day, I saw a very aged couple crossing the road. Both of them could barely walk. In spite of the discomfort, the elderly man held on to his wife to support her while she was walking. He was also carrying a heavy box with another hand. In that one moment, I could feel the love this couple harbored for each other. It was clear that despite all the storms, despite al the pain these two love birds were bent on not just holding each other’s hands but holding on to each other. This is true love.

We often tend to become jealous and possessive of the people we believe ourselves to be in love with. We want their time, their thoughts, their affection, their happiness, everything to be connected to us in some way or the other. There was this girl who felt miserable every time her significant half spent time away from her. She could not bear the thought of him near other women. The so called relationship ended but the girl continued to feel hurt, humiliated, betrayed. For her, life seemed to have come to an end with the end of her relationship. Is that true love? Is love that selfish? Is love so demeaning? Is love so self-destructive?

Another set of questions and the answer to each is a simple NO. Truly, love is synonymous with courage. Only two very courageous people can draw strength from each other and remain companions and partners for ever and ever. This is my interpretation of love.

I’ll end this post by something I really believe in…Loving somebody requires you to make a promise. Never break a promise because when you break a promise, you break a heart, you crush a dream. For some, no matter how hard they try, finding another dream can take a lifetime.

Valentine Fever...What is LOVE?

2008-02-13T09:27:00.000-08:00

I had been thinking of updating my blog for a long time. I guess this is what they call "writer's block"... ;) well, not to fear! am well and truly rid of it now. This whole week, the whole world seemed to be gripped by the highly contagious valentine fever. Agony aunts had turned into love gurus on the electronic media, people in the office were perpetually occupied in making grand plans for the D-day...and me...I was beginning to feel like a 27 year old Bridget Jones :( I thought I was really above such frivolity.

I had convinced myself I was a mature young woman who definitely didn’t feel the need to participate in this very juvenile concept of celebrating loveeeeeeeee. But you know what, I realized that in spite of everything I was feeling lonely and well...something else I can’t describe. I explained to myself that if it was a day that was meant to be celebrated with your loved one...with somebody special in your life...then how could I have forgotten that I had a beautiful family at home.

So far, I have taken them for granted. My parents, my brother, everybody has made me feel so very special...they are the ones who have always stood beside me...and yet I have failed to give them the status they truly deserve. For the past few days I had been questioning what really is love? Is it merely making sweet beautiful promises to one another? Calling each other sweet names? Asking one another if they have reached home safely? Does it only mean going out on weekend dates? Does it only mean holding hands in public? Does a stolen kiss qualify as love? Does acting possessive and jealous over your so called significant other signify your love for the person?

I was fortunate enough to witness several incidents that answered all the questions I posed above. As an instructional designer I understand that the attention span of my audience may have wavered by now. So, I will list all these events in my next post.

Keep the Faith!!!

2008-01-12T09:30:00.000-08:00

My very close friends know about this magical moment that I experienced. I just wanted to share this with everybody else who cares to read this blog as well. :) Its about faith. Its about miracles. Its about god.

I was holding on to my pursuit of happiness. I was determined to look within for the same. I didn't want to be influenced by anything or anybody for my happiness. I didn't want to be angry with anyone...not even with myself. I wanted to show myself that I can live for the moment...that I had learned to accept whatever life had in store for me with grace...with gratitude even...because whatever it is...has been given...some of it without even asking for it. :)

Life has been a roller coaster ride of sorts for the past few months. The ride has been all it is suposed to be...it has been scary, joyful, smooth, and painful also...not particularly in the same order.

I have a tendency to deviate from the original topic...anyway, I offered a prayer to vaishno ma at this point of time. I was seeking her blessings on this particular day when I found my resolve wavering a little. I wanted to hold on to the promise I had made to myself. I prayed to her to show me in some way that I was not alone...that she was there to hold me...I stepped into my bathroom...my most favorite hiding place. :)

I had just about sensed my resolve weakening...when i prayed to mata. and lo and behold!!! I spotted torn pieces of a letter I had written to myself- safely hidden behind an almira in the bathroom. I had written this letter several months ago. In a fit of anger, I had torn the letter that very day and had thrown it away. In the letter, I had made all the promises I mentioned above. I had penned down the names of all the people and all the things I counted as God's most beautiful gifts to me. I had listed all the beautiful memories I cherished and will continue to cherish all my life. That letter was meant to be a reminder of how beautiful my life was and how I should be thankful to God for this glorious present.

When i found the letter again after all these months, I stepped out of the bathroom and I asked my mom where she got the torn pieces of letter from. She told me that she had seen me writing something down and then throwing it away. She thought that it must be preserved so she just collected all the pieces and hid them behind the closet. She never once looked at the letter. I put together all the pieces of the letter and read it again. In that one moment, after I read the letter, I felt God's presence in my life again. I felt mata's arms around me. I felt her palms wiping my tears. That was the most magical experience of my life. For me it was nothing short of a miracle...when my prayer was answered instantly. When I was reassured by none other than the almighty.

It is very important to have faith in yourself. For some this may be anextremely emotional piece of writing. but for me this experience was truly motivating...god is nothing but the power within us. We must never ever forget that...:)

Moving on!!!

2007-11-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

There was this phrase that everybody seemed to be repeating to me. Everybody told me to move on...I asked some people I was very very close to what "moving on" really meant...everybody had a different interpretation. Nobody could ever explain to me what they meant when they told me to move on...Today I have my own interpretation...atleast, today i think I know that I want to move on :D

This picture was taken what now seems like ages ago. An amazing trip with some lovely memories...This is a picture that is symbolic of a lot of things I believe in...hope, prayers, dreams, and moving on. Only two years have passed, yet I am so different. A lot of relationships have revived, a lot left behind...and I move on...with a smile. It is an uphill journey. Sometimes, I get really tired, I feel like slowing down, taking some rest, talking to a few nice looking (no pun intended ;)) people around, striking a conversation...yet I move on. During the course of this journey, I sometimes reach a spot that seems like my destination. I feel sure that this is where I wanted to get, this is what I wanted all my life, the beautiful and the soothing suroundings, a wonderful sense of security, and the comfort of belonging lull me into a deep and a very cosy sleep. But, i wake up or rather am woken up. In the light of the mornning, what seemed so beautiful seems even more beautiful, but I am sent away, because I am no longer welcome. It hurts, yet I move on. At times, the weather takes its toll, it seems too harsh, and I want to give the journey up. I want to just stop. But, something pulls me...and I move on.